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It's a classy move. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV. Hand: Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you're doing?

Jefferson's Brother: My brother's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill us! He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us! Jeff Spicoli: Make up your mind, dude, is he gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?

Jeff Spicoli: Relax, alright? My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it. Brad Hamilton: Mister, if you don't shut up I'm gonna kick one hundred percent of your ass!

Jeff Spicoli: So what Jefferson was saying was "Hey! You know, we left this England place because it was bogus.

So if we don't get some cool rules ourselves, pronto, we'll just be bogus too. Mike Damone: I woke up in a great mood; I don't know what the hell happened.

Jeff Spicoli: Well, there was a long line in the cafeteria and I was having a hit of the munchies Hand: Food will be eaten on your time, Mr.

Spicoli, why are you continually late for this class? Why are you continually wasting my time and the classes with this tirade every day? Damone: Can you honestly tell me you forgot?

Forgot the magnetism of Robin Zander, or the charisma of Rick Nielsen? Linda Barrett: In Ridgemont? We can't even get cable TV here, Stacy, and you want romance.

Three weeks we've been talking about the Platt Amendment. What are you people, on dope? Where is Jeff Spicoli?

I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Hand: What is this fascination with truancy? What is it that gets inside of your heads?

There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch!

Now, in the end, who pays the price? Spicoli: [entering] Hey, wait a minute. There's no birthday party for me here! Hola, Mr.

Hand: Food will be eaten on your time. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Why must you shamelessly waste my time like this?

Hmm Hmm. Hand, will I pass this class? Spicoli, I don't know. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to leave your words on my board for all my classes to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr.

Damone: This is going to be great, Rat. It's like the highlight of their day. Damone: What are you kidding? We're gonna surprise them. Look, just fix your collar, alright?

Relax, just be cool, attitude, remember? Where'd you get that, outta the hamper? Damone: Look Rat, it's like riding a bike.

Fall off; you're right back on. Mess up a date, do it again. Hand: Mr. Spicoli, You're on dangerous ground here. You're causing a major disturbance on my time.

Spicoli: I've been thinking about this, Mr. If I'm here and you're here, doesn't that make it our time? Certainly, there's nothing wrong with a little feast on our time.

Hand: [takes away box of pizza from Spicoli] You're absolutely right, Mr. It is our time. Yours, mine and everyone else's in this room. But it is my class.

Hand: [calls up a couple of students] Mr. Spicoli has been kind enough to bring us a snack. Be my guest. Help yourselves. Get a good one.

Stacy: Linda, I finally figured it out. I don't want sex. Anyone can have sex. Linda: You want romance? In Ridgemont? We can't even get cable TV here, Stacy, and you want romance!

Linda: [On the phone with Stacy] I told you to tell Mike to pay for it. Why didn't you tell him? But it is my class. Spicoli has been kind enough to bring us a snack.

Be my guest. Help yourselves. Get a Good one. Hand : No problem at all. I think you know where the front office is. Hand : [ passing back exams ] 'C', 'D', 'F'.

For three weeks we have been talking about the Platt Amendment. It was passed in nineteen-hundred and six. Hand : Where is Jeff Spicoli?

I saw him earlier today, near the first floor bathrooms, is he still on campus? Hand : What is this fascination with truancy?

What is it that gets inside of your heads? There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants.

It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price?

He has a bagel stuffed into crotch; with open shirt, barefoot, holding Vans ]. Jeff Spicoli : [ Desmond re-enters; Spicoli follows with bagel stuffed into crotch; with open shirt, barefoot, holding Vans ] Wait a minute, there's no birthday party for me here!

Hello, Mr. Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this? Jeff Spicoli : [ long pause, but then with complete truth in his answer ] I don't know.

Hand : [ Mr. Hand goes to blackboard and writes the words 'I Don't Know', then underlines them ]. Hand : 'Mr. Hand, will I pass this class?

Jeff Spicoli: All right! Jeff Spicoli: Hey, you're ripping my card. Hand: Yes. Jeff Spicoli: Hey bud, what's your problem? Hand: No problem at all.

I think you know where the front office is. Jeff Spicoli: You dick! Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you're gonna be late again you butthole! Curtis Spicoli: Dad says you're gonna be late again you booger!

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